History is Rewritten

So, I know that history (the kind you read in books) is subject to the author's interpretation. And that we'll never know what really happened. But, I'm pretty sure that history didn't go exactly like Glen thinks. Here is his rendition - my guess is that they are talking about President's day in school.

Glen: Hey Mom, I know who the first president was!
Me: Who?
Glen: Abe-ra-dam Lin-klin
Me: No... it was George Washington
Glen: That's right, that's right (shaking his head). Abe-ra-dam Lin-klin was the president with slaves
Me: Really?
Glen: Yeah - First the guy said I'm going to kill your slaves. The President said NO!
YES!
NO!
YES!
NO!
Then everyone got chainsaws and knives and any kind of weapon, and there was a war. Yeah, the North and the West had a war.
And there are no more slaves because they are all dead.
George Washington was hiding.
Me: Where?
Glen: Nobody knows, but he was hiding. He was the last one to get dead. He wanted to get out of there because he didn't want the other guys to kill him. So he hid.
And the north won. I think. But I wasn't there.

Obviously.