Travels (or why airports are not my friend)

I recently returned from a trip to Wisconsin with Glen and Maddox. Some might call me crazy, others just roll their eyes and laugh. I'll post later about the trip itself, but want to dedicate this post to the particular phenomenon that is the airport.

Part I: The Trip TO:

Thinking I was pretty clever, and taking the advice of Jen, I booked the first flight for 2:15 - NAP TIME (helped out with Jen's genius reminder to drug my children with baby Tylenol)! In my head, I envisioned excited kids carrying their own backpacks like big boys to our gate, gazing at the airplane in wonder, perhaps hugging each other, then conking out as soon as we leave the ground, waking up in the mid-west around the time we land.

The reality was a bit different.

Portland airport was not altogether a bad experience, per se. We made it through Security with the help of the (surprisingly) friendly TSA agents (we were the only one's in line, which helped tremendously). We rushed to our gate, and were among the last on the airplane - with the help of a friendly flight attendant getting all of our stuff to our seats in the VERY BACK of the airplane. I promptly dolled out the drugs, got ourselves "seated up" and we were off.

Did the nap time/Tylenol combo knock my kids out? Do you really have to ask?? NO. I gave up trying to get them to sleep after about an hour and a half, and broke out the DVD player - then at least they were (mostly) quiet and (pretty much) still.

I'm still thinking things are going well at this point (naive - yes, I know). We land, and hit good-old Lindbergh terminal at MSP. By now, it is about 6:00 Portland time (or 8:00 in MN), and my over-tired, over-stimulated children have not had a nap. Add to this equation the fact that we were at gate G-20, which is roughly the distance to Egypt compared to the rental car counter. Oh yes, you also need to know what I was carrying..... a car seat (could it be more bulky?), TWO backpacks (no chance in them carrying their own), the afore-mentioned DVD player, and my briefcase for work (stupid "line of sight" policy).

Glen and Maddox alternated between running full speed ahead (fine, as there were looooooong hallways and few people), kicking and screaming on the floor in all the tantrum-glory, hanging off the car seat I was carrying, and stopping to pick up lint or point at a tear in the carpet or point at an airplane parked at another gate. (Notice there is no behavior description for "walked nicely with MumMum holding her hand and carrying their own stuff").

So about the time we pass gate G 437 (or the rough equivalent of 1/4 of the way to Egypt), I had had enough. I stopped, set down all my stuff, called the boys over, and started outlining my expectations (basically that they act human). As I'm finishing, I hear someone laughing - loudly, and rather uncontrollably. I look around and see a 20-something child with her boyfriend, giggling into her hands. Instantly, all the frustration I'm feeling is channelled to her - "Are you LAUGHING at me?" She nods, and I feel like punching her. Instead, with as much dignity as I could muster with two misbehaving children and half a household to sherpa through the rest of the airport, I say "You're time is coming."

Grrrr.....


Part II: The Trip HOME:

This was MUCH better.... the boys ran off steam at Kay and Stan's house between the 4 hour drive and the 3 1/2 hour flight.

When I returned the rental car, the agent took pity on my and drove me to the terminal, thereby removing the tram ride and about half the distance to the gate.

The boys were good - they both carried their own backpacks, and Maddox insisted upon pulling my briefcase - so I only shlepped the DVD and car seat. There was no running, no tackling, no hanging off of MumMum, and only minor "slow wandering."

When we got on the plane, both boys were asleep roughly when the wheels were raised - without drugs (it was 10pm).

The only difficulty came in Portland - it was extremely difficult to wake up two boys in the middle of the night to get off the airplane and walk to where dad was. And naturally the plane was early and Tyler had car troubles, so he was late. So instead of meeting him outside security, I had the added fun of collecting our bags and meeting him outside the airport - but Glen was a huge helper, and Maddox does everything Glen does, so after a few tears because Dad wasn't right there, we made it.

I wonder if I should take the kids to Orlando in December..........